Most of us grew up communicating. We communicate with our voice, tone, hands, eyes, actions, attire, and yes, non-verbally. In my younger days, I was a deaf interpreter in Ohio. We used facial expressions, spelled words with our hands, and acted out concepts we could not find a sign. We were communicating. It was all done to make a statement or to explain ourselves. Who remembers the sharp eye stare in the church by our parents when we were acting up? They never had to say a word. The look told the story…LOL!
It is often taken for granted, as simple as communication seems to be. We assumed that all understood what came out of the hole in our face. However, with the elderly population, we have to be concerned about the best way to communicate with our loved ones as we care for them.
Did you know our loved ones may not understand every word out of our mouth in their wonder years? We talk too fast. We talk moving about. We speak with our backs to our loved ones, and we yell from other rooms…Did you hear me? Did you hear what I said? Who is guilty?
ME!!!! Guilty as charged.
I want to share nuggets that may help you consider the best way to communicate with our care recipients. Simple sentences will go a long way to making a point or sharing information. Use simple words…medication time or let’s eat. Be straightforward in conversations. With mommy, I’d say bath time or bedtime… are you ready? This was a way to give back control and put it on her timeline instead of mine. The non-verbal communication would be fluffing pillows or pulling a nightgown from a drawer.
Whatever the message you are trying to get across, be kind. While our aging loved ones show child-like behaviors, they are still adults, and we must do our best to keep that front and center. Honesty, this was hard for me at times. It had more to do with watching mommy decline and often having those feelings of helplessness. The reality is that how we communicate matters. Our loved ones can sense when we are frustrated, angry, tired, and weary. Sometimes, I would express these feelings to others. I never wanted my mommy to feel like a burden. You know, and I know, they already do.
As Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate, I am sharing that our communication matters. Monitor yourself and make any adjustments to make communication easier for our elderly care recipients. Be safe! Be well!