Am I the only one who has noticed an uptick in adult children killing their elderly parents? Violence by caregiving children against parents has many layers. Nationwide, the statistics indicate that adult children caring for their loved ones are increasingly overwhelmed, a major reason. In the caregiving space, the term “overwhelmed” has many stages. It’s a feeling of financial loss, independent loss, no medical knowledge of loved ones’ health issues, and lack of rest and sleep.
No matter the cause, shedding insight may help us think before we act. We can all agree that caregiving is tough work — without a doubt! Point-blank…PERIOD! We can also agree that caregiving can be lonely. Many overwhelmed caregivers feel alone. I’m speaking from personal experience. The turning point came when I verbally sought help. Help was not always from those we thought would be in our corner, like family.
Let’s dive into the word “overwhelmed.” Only after we understand the feelings of hopelessness can we relate to why many caregivers decide to use violence. The redundancy of feeling overwhelmed can be a force that many have trouble pulling back from. The red flags that warn that risk is escalating are too often ignored by caregivers and individuals close to the caregiving space. We think tomorrow will be better, but we do not realize that help is essential and urgent.
Causes
How can we help caregivers overcome the hopelessness of being and feeling “overwhelmed”? If you have ever been snowed in, swamped, and exhausted without relief, removing the cause seems to be the solution. As we know, it is not. Long-term caregiving and being forced into caregiving through no fault of their own cause feelings of drain. Seeing no way out for some causes the unthinkable.
Solution
Asking for help sounds simple, but it is the first line of defense. It is the true sign of strength. When those you expect to show up for you are absent, respite care is. While it provides temporary relief for loved ones, it helps. They provide in-home care and short-term placement.
As Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate, help is available. You are not alone. While family may not be your saving grace, resources exist to support you. We acknowledge your overwhelming feelings and isolation. Do not be afraid to seek help. Be Safe! Be Well!
Dr. Cynthia J. Hickman is a retired registered nurse and case manager who is the CEO of Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate. She’s excited to share her latest book, The Essential Caregiver Training Course for Corporations and Community. Her previous works, From the Lens of Daughter, Nurse, and Caregiver: A Journey of Duty and Honor, and The Black Book of Important Information for Caregivers, reflect her experiences and insights gained during her heartfelt caregiving journey.