I had often heard that getting older can be a blessing or a curse. The mindset is typically based on lived experiences. Our loved ones once enjoyed a life of independence and, for some, employment until retirement. Then they experience sickness, and their health falls into the hands of family and sometimes friends. Part of caregiving is remembering that our loved ones were active, some employed, and a part of society. Sadly, many never consider the thought that someone, somewhere, may need to care for them someday. The late Roselyn Carter summed it up well… “There are only four kinds of people in the world–those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”
* Rosalynn Carter, Founder of the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers*
While we will never know the time or day when caring for another will be required, being an active participant in our loved ones’ reality is essential. The last thing you want them to feel is that they are a burden. What they did when they were able-bodied is a part of their life journey. Engaging them with the things they once enjoyed is critical to their feeling valued and even respected.
So here is the question: What did your loved one do when they were younger?
Empathy is the first step in ensuring your loved one feels valued and safe. Putting yourself in the shoes of your loved one is an up-close and personal way of sensing what your loved one may be experiencing. Ask yourself how you would feel and what you would want your caregiving experience to be like. Your caregiving duties should ensure that loved ones never lose their worth. Our elders enjoy reminiscing about their past. My mother was a science teacher, and we did things related to her profession. It was fun to see how much she remembered, even at 90 years of age.
Whatever you can do to create memories and personal realities of their life is valuable. Use their favorite music and television shows for loved ones with cognitive decline. Don’t forget photos that make everyone laugh!
As Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate, creating a supportive setting can generate meaningful remembrances with your loved ones and help them feel appreciated, acknowledged, and safe, even as they navigate the reality of needing care. Be Safe! Be Well!
Dr. Cynthia J. Hickman is a retired registered nurse and case manager who serves as the CEO of Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate. She is excited to share her latest book, The Essential Caregiver Training Course for Corporations and Communities. Her previous works, From the Lens of Daughter, Nurse, and Caregiver: A Journey of Duty and Honor and The Black Book of Important Information for Caregivers, showcase her experiences and insights gained through her heartfelt caregiving journey.