For our loved ones who have been independent and self-sufficient, empathy should shine. brightly for us as caregivers as age, illness, and adversity confront them. We all have periods of intermittent need, right? And it can take a toll on the mental health of our elderly. We saw the sun peeking through the cloud of our health situation, chronic diseases, our broken bones, our surgical recovery, but for our elderly loved ones, they see the writing on the wall that reads, I need help, mentally and physically. As caregivers, how do we handle another’s feelings of losing fate with mental and physical ability? How do we lessen the internal and external suffering of those thoughts, feelings, and emotions?
Empathy not Sympathy
I suggest we first show empathy. Empathy, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is… the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another’s shoes.
Sympathy, on the other hand, is a form of pity; an awareness of an individual’s suffering without a full understanding of the reality of a situation. It is often the result of personal experiences that may or may not be what your loved one is going through.
As caregivers, if we let ourselves be guided by empathy’s definition, we hope to be prepared to handle both the smooth and the rough places. The key is to understand what getting older means to you and then take the steps necessary to always demonstrate empathy and acknowledge the mental emotions that may show up as mental health concerns. You have often heard me say… if they could, they would!
We know that truly understanding our loved ones’ internal thoughts is impossible, except when they share them with us. Know that it is okay to ask how our loved ones are really feeling. The psychological underpinnings of another person can sometimes be inferred from nonverbal cues, those objective observations that often lead to assumptions. But why assume! Empathy says we care. Empathy says we want to hear your concerns, and empathy is in the DNA of a true and dedicated caregiver.
As Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate, the best part of being a caregiver is being aware of how to balance empathy in word and deed. It will make a difference for both the caregiver and the loved ones entrusted to your care. Be Safe! Be Well!